I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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