Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
