Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
