is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There r osticjed everywhere
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
