you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
