I heard we made out
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
