Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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