did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
