Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize