Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
