You're completely useless in the revolution.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize