My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
