he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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