A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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