You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
