yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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