i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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