No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
