I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
