you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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