If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The power of my boobs compel you
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
