I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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