My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
