Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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