Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
