Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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