Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize