Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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