You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he fucked my hip out of place.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize