dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
how drunk are you?
Several
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
