i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
