An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
