there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize