is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
50% drunk capacity currently
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
