Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
