I wanna passion pit in your ass
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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