I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
