then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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