Me. At least after what I've been through.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
