am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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