Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We had to coat check the pizza.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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