i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
