I'm going to jail i love you
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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