Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
