I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
