Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
