If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
