Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize