he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
