You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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