they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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