I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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