You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
