so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
