This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize