Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
