Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
