i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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