Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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