Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
