This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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