I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
