Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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