Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
pray to the hookup gods
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
