Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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