How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
