Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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