It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
