Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have fence marks all over my body
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
