i would punch a child for taco bell
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
