I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
